Digital detox (Failed Attempt)
Maybe like a few hours ago, i don’t remember it’s, like five hours now, yeah inshallah. I want to try for full week to stay away from my wi fi everything just like shut it off. Obviously i can’t keep my phone away because i need it to record, but i want to try that and then shall we see how it’s going turn out. I feel like it’ll, be awesome, it’s going to be difficult for sure, because i feel like i use my phone a lot um for like reading or texting or calling so it’s gon na be a challenge, but i feel it’s gon na be awesome as well. So inshallah let’s see how that goes hold on a second says. What i meant to say is that i want to try this experiment, because i feel like i overuse my phone for like texting, social media and calling like through zoom and stuff like that. So i just wanted to take a break from all that and try to see how it goes, so it wasn’t, really, i didn’t feel, like i explained it properly so yep today has not been a good good day. So far i feel i was so cranky and negative. I don’t know just like feeling like everything is so annoying, not good, not good, and i think my mom’s so dumb with me, because i complained too much uh. I hope to stop complaining that’s, something i hope to like work towards.
Sometimes i just like i don’t know i can’t handle i’m like not complaining, it’s, just like i’m saying things, because i want things to change, but i guess you guys can work on yourself for things to change most of the time and i’m gon na try. My best to focus on that. What else did i want to say today was not that productive. I just like laid around and felt really annoyed, so i’m gon na study right now, because i have an exam tomorrow, a quiz actually – and i did bad on my other quizzes. So michelle i’m gon na try my best now i’ve been trying for a week or more to read the book, and i took some notes and i’m gon na read them. I wanted to show you guys my really cute shirt. It says and then there’s like a bunch of different um things you can use in your herbal tea. There we go. Is it showing properly yeah mere media and soon i think that has been blown edge. This is so difficult to read day two of my challenge. Today is friday, um, 11th of march or 12th. I think it’s 12 on march and it’s 10 30. Right now i woke up a while ago. I just brushed my teeth and oh wash my face all the necessary things and i woke up around maybe six, but i wasn’t feeling too that’s when i’m back to sleep and yep now, i’m, just gon na finish my dakotas a lot because i didn’t get to Finish that and i’m gon na close, i have to go, make breakfast and so many other things so i’ll be back by the end of the day and say how i feel how things evolved and see you till then i was so tempted to turn on my Wi fi yesterday alhamdulillah, i did not so this is day three you guys um.
Yesterday i was supposed to make a vlog a video for how it went my second day, but you guys it wasn’t as good. I ended up like when binge watching, which i hate doing, but i just got so bored and i feel so wrong to do like such a waste of time and i slept late, but at least i woke up early today, i’m planning to study. I start a little bit, but i need to focus and actually get things done. You know you do like five minutes i’m, like okay, that’s enough and i’m talking so fast right now, just calm down says i realize when i video i don’t talk in like one like tone. I just start randomly talking so loudly and i don’t know how it’s like for people watching so i’m. Sorry, if it’s like it’s so confusing or if it’s it hurts your ears, i’m, not sure but i’m. Sorry, guys, it’s, just so much emotion or so much happening. I’M, just like bam, i hope no one’s ear drums are are cursing against me right now. It is 8. 33 p.m. Alhamdulillah i studied more today and i also listened to an audiobook. I really want to put this part that i uh screen recorded, but i’m scared they’re gon na copyright it so i won’t put it, although i want to i’ll, think about it. Let’S see if it works out, but now so far so good and so i’m gon na sleep in a bit and let’s hope we’ll make it till day seven and today i actually did this nice rule thingy.
Let me try to show it to you, Music it’s, for i wrote rules to live by and i wrote 10 rules that just came to my mind. So just like sharing that shall love it, so i hate recording them once in public anyways. So i just woke up a while ago and i’m gon na walk outside it’s, so nice, i don’t know if you can hear the birds but it’s such a nice like breezy morning. So i look ridiculous because i’m wearing this from the top and then like this and then i’m wearing those your pants but it’s, okay, my neighbors got ta, see all my different selves. I guess alhamdulillah i woke up. I woke up what time what’s now it’s, like almost nine i’m, going to walk outside watching white car, and then i have to study i’m good, oh my god, so many people coming out bye, i’m gon na record like this, because it’s much easier it’s day. Four. Now alhamdulillah, so we made it to day four um. I just want to say that i feel so much better in the sense that a lot of times, i feel like to use my phone to get out of whatever i’m feeling. Okay, i don’t even show so whatever i’m feeling. Oh, this is nice yeah and it’s, not a good thing. You should go like through your emotions and stuff, actually just go on and text, my friends or other bye.
Oh one. Second, i think someone, okay, i found some good lighting and i need to say the story. I was walking flying this guy passed. I said hi to him and then i saw another car passing by after a while. So i thought it was. He was in the car and he wanted to say something so i went to the car and it turns out. It was like this puerto rican guy. I saw another time walking outside. He was talking to me and he was telling me how he thinks i’m pretty and i should have a boyfriend, so i’m like just walked away, and then this time he comes up and he’s he’s, just like you don’t need. He asked me something like. Why am i walking outside i’m? Like oh, the weather? Is nice he’s like oh, but you don’t need it? He’S, like oh you’re, very beautiful. You have a boyfriend. Oh no. He said you’re very good, i’m beautiful i’m, like thank you and he’s. Like um. You have a boyfriend yet and then last time i told my mom. He said that he’s, like did you explain to him islam and my mom’s, taking every chance of kadawa so i’m, like okay um. Let me do that. So i told him i’m, like you, know, we’re muslim. In islam, we own, we don’t, have boyfriends he’s like he’s, like what i’m like yeah, we don’t have boyfriends we’re. Just like have commitment and stuff like that.
Like marriage he’s like oh okay, sorry and then he went i’m like oh, no that’s, muddy, oh it’s, too far, gosh there’s, spiders and everything my shoes are dirty: no stupid plastic, oh my god, so many insects, i’m scared. Oh my god! Oh, this isn’t stuck on me. He thinks i’m, a flower from all the colors. I am a flower. Okay, we got it, you guys. Oh my gosh save the planet within 30 minutes. The sun is blazing. Oh, my god. Where’D you come from. Everything looks so much better with the sunset sun subhanallah by just listening beautiful, so you guys right now: it’s 5, ‘ p.m, and i wasted a good amount of time. And apparently my sister told me that youtube is considered social media and i’d like yeah. It is but it’s not for me, because the main problem was from for me was to like constantly text people or wait for them to answer and this and that and like um instagram, just scrolling through and stuff for me in youtube. I kind of scrolled a little but more or less. I watched things that i thought were important or that were benefiting me, but you guys i’m reading my book um for my exam tomorrow and i came across ocd, obsessive, compulsive disorder and i’m, like so tempted to make a video and share because there’s a whole history And i still sometimes have like small ocd episodes, but not really alhamdulillah like before.
I just like keep feeling like. Should i share like what happened in the sense like if someone’s going through this stuff, like what helped me how it was for me so don’t feel alone? What do you guys think of course, i’m? Not a therapist, but based on what i’ve read what i’ve researched? What i’ve been through, i feel like there are a couple of things that i could say: um, but yeah it’s not like you know, it’s what a therapist would say or something it’s just like experienced by someone that did go through something like that before you guys Do anything? Yes, i am changing it’s, just those are the most convenient clothes to wear as i’m videoing so i’m, just like putting them to the side, but day five it’s day, five right alhamdulillah, oh my god, i’m doing not too good today. Actually, i did an exam and i’ve been preparing for it for a while now like two weeks, and i didn’t do good as good as i wanted to at least better than the previous exam. But i feel like this professor is like setting us up to fail. Sometimes you can only try your best and i’m, not feeling so good about other things that you just like detox. I feel so stressed because i keep wasting time and i have stuff to do for uni and then i just don’t feel like i’m doing much with my life and then i’m, just like obsessing about things that i wish it were a different way or look different Blah blah blah and it’s, exhausting you guys, but inshallah ramadan is in less than a month.
Can you guys believe it inshallah ramadan and help me make the best use of it to get the best benefits of it and yeah maybe use it to the maximum? So we can gain genetics in sha allah guys. I got this flower from outside and i just feel like sharing some things that earlier i was upset about really stupid things and i started thinking after watching this documentary um. That subhanallah, i feel, makes us focus at such silly details that we won’t have time to think about god and fixing our bond with him or strengthening it. That video ended so abruptly. But what i was saying is that subhanallah gets us to focus on such small details that we slowly start getting thoughts scraped into our hearts or into our minds. We’Re, like oh, where are those coming from, and we start having so many doubts, because we didn’t spend that time searching about all this data and just focusing on those silly details and it kind of becomes, i guess more difficult, rather than if you were building that Knowledge to begin with at least that’s for me, so it was just like subhanallah. I mean it’s very hard to realize it at the moment. This is like it’s, not you, it’s shaytan, trying to make you focus on those silly details that, at the end of the day, won’t even matter so yeah that was that’s, something that i’m really struggling with honestly, like focusing on those silly details that don’t matter at The long run and uh yeah just constantly remind myself that this life is for allah, what he commanded us, but the next inshallah is we’ll, get whatever we want over there.
Obviously, this life is also like for us, like so much beauty in it. But what i’m saying you know like this life it’s more about like what god decreed for us a lot of the time to be at peace with that and to be happy with that and inshallah and the next. We get everything that we want and desire. Inshallah! So what are they doing? They’Re doing a little zumba dance or maybe i don’t know they’re trying to attract each other. I don’t know i’m going look at the bird in the back. The way it’s running is hilarious. Run birdie, please it’s like got ta, go fast. We’Re both not going fast, no more, oh, my god, no she’s, leaving you or they’re leaving each other. I don’t know the first signs of spring hello, pretty so beautiful. I ended up going back on my phone, but at least i did like five days alhamdulillah. That was productive, not really inshallah. I hope to actually try to take a little bit of what i’ve done. In the sense i don’t keep checking my phone but yeah and reduced less watching. Videos, like i just went from using my phone to watching videos, so it wasn’t really that productive, Music um but yeah that’s all for now. I hope you guys enjoyed this video. I don’t even know who would enjoy this video because it just looks so confusing, but this is my little documentary kind of thing.